hai⋅ku (hahy – koo) n. 1. An ancient form of Japanese poetry consisting of three lines and a 5-7-5 syllabic pattern.
Now I know poetry is probably the last thing on the minds of baseball fans at this time of year…heck, at any time of year. But I’m here to tell you Haiku doesn’t need to be imprisoned within the elementary confines of a second grade classroom.
Please allow me to bring it back into the fold for you. Why? Because with about 50 days remaining until Opening Day and no football to satisfy my thirst for sports, I’m bored out of my mind.
I’m sure you are too.
That’s right, I’m talking to you Mr. Avid Sports Fan who’s craftily reading this article in your cubicle with your left eye while keeping a vigilant watch on the door to your boss’s office with your right eye. Don’t despair, my friend. Together, we can whittle away the idle moments until Opening Day and extinguish our work day boredom simultaneously.
I took the liberty of getting the ball rolling, but it’s hard for me to say I’ve compiled on this page the greatest list of baseball Haiku known to man. After all, poems like these can be whipped up in no time flat. So basically, the following Haikus happen to be the best I was able to create in the last 15 minutes.
That’s why I need your help. You never know if the greatest baseball Haiku poem of all time is lounging around in your brain just waiting to be unleashed. Please join me in creating the definitive list of baseball Haiku. I promise I’ll keep ‘em coming too.
Here’s A Hearty Helping of Baseball Haiku:
-------------------------------------
I love Don Zimmer
He got in Pedro’s face once
Even though he’s old
-------------------------------------
Beer here! Cold beer here!
I’m reaching for my wallet
I don’t have twelve bucks
-------------------------------------
Manny, oh Manny
Won’t you come back to Fenway?
Who the hell needs ya?
-------------------------------------
Pete Rose was the best
Who cares about gambling, just
Put him in the Hall
-------------------------------------
I love baseball but
MLB is a nightmare
Why is Bud in charge?
-------------------------------------
The Phils won the series
Will somebody please pinch me?
It might be a dream.
-------------------------------------
White ball falling fast
He runs, he dives, he catches
Runner stops and swears
-------------------------------------
Steinbrenner had kids
That took over the Yankees.
They’ll make it worse, though
-------------------------------------
The baseball Afro…
When will it come back in style?
I miss it dearly
-------------------------------------
Little Earl Weaver
Had a very big mouth and
The O’s need him back
-------------------------------------
Philly’s Fanatic
Is clearly the best mascot
In baseball today
-------------------------------------
The pitchers report
The air is getting warmer
It’s almost that time…
